Policing

I still need to check when applications close, but I'm thinking of running for the post of London's police commissioner. Why vote for me? Well I would spend my first month in office interviewing all police officers with more than 15 years experience and reviewing their records. After I had found the suitable candidate, I would make them my proxy and give them the rest of my salary. That way London's policing would be run by a professional, rather than some attention-seeking politician.
If my proxy preferred, I could stay on as the public face of the commissioner's office, to make the public apologies every time a tabloid newspaper decides to tell the police how they should have done their job. I know naff-all about policing, which I'm pretty sure qualifies me perfectly for discussing it with tabloid journalists.
So, would you vote for me? I promise that if you elect me, the person who does my job will be a suitable person for the job, with many years policing experience. How many other candidates can say that?

Pharisees

So I might be drifting up the leg of late, but that's only because it appears to have become such fertile territory. I mean I am well aware that all jeans have tended towards skinny for some time now: I believe that the term is that the 'silhouette has changed'. However, as gentlemen (sorry women/wimmin, I couldn't even begin to comment) we have choices within the silhouette. My casual trousers are undoubtedly thinner than they used to be, but they are nowhere near this thin. The reason being that, whilst I am relatively fit, I am a fairly bulky specimen, and wearing skin tight jeans would look as bad on me as it does on this chap. Also I am over 30 and therefore would look terrible dressing like a teenager.
The whole jeans/socks/shoes combo would tend to suggest that not only is this a 'look', but that it is a 'look' into which the owner has invested much care and attention. Unfortunately the socks merely serve to highlight the age/mass incongruity of the clothing choices. Oh, and the shoes. These were a purchase of love: that is evident in all the detail and the fact that they clearly get a polish every now and then. Unfortunately, no matter how much their owner loves them, nothing can stop this being an utterly fugly pair of soft-toed pointy shoes with some fairly dull stitching.
Next.

Post-sartorial

"Oh what's his problem this time," I hear you say, "this is just a classic skinny leg jeans/pointy shoe combination."
Well, my problem is twofold:
1. The shoes are (as ever) scuffed to buggery, which wouldn't be quite so bad with jeans, but
2. They are suit trousers.
Seriously, that was the lower half of a two piece suit! I only hope he wasn't going to an interview; I certainly wouldn't give anyone a job when their feet looked like stale croissants. But then I am pretty biased, I guess you've worked that out by now.